Why is it so fucking difficult sometimes, to understand your own language when it is, (allegedly), spoken to you by some people in this country….innit?
An announcement on a tube train. Totally illegible.
“Mine de gap” - I’m OK with that – it has a resonance that you can pick up in most foreign accents. It’s anything else that stumps me. When it’s Zebidee the Jamaican pot-smoking tea-cosy-wearing boneless floppy dude dribbling into the Tannoy, I don’t stand a fucking chance.
Even the cockneys are hard work. Landan andahgraind? Fuck off mate.
The other day around the tube system in London:
Three Somali-looking schoolgirls on the tube – jabbering at high speed. I simply could not tell if they were speaking English.
Announcement on the same train – total gibberish.. Jive talk? Swahili? Who knows. Not one word understood.
Twenty feet away, some oriental bint jabbering on her mobile loudly for the whole carriage to hear. Again, couldn't tell you if it was English or Mandarin.
What crock of shit.
Yours
Bill Turnip
Saturday, 26 September 2009
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